Hope and My Resolution

by Jeremy Chance

Happy New Year to all of you!

I realized I haven’t posted since the summer, and that’s pretty embarrassing. I apologize for my lack of updates.

There has been entirely too much going on in my life since the last time I posted, and I really don’t have the time or the desire to write about everything that has gone on in my life. Even though I generally am an outgoing individual, I’ve realized I keep a lot to myself; part of me apologizes for this, part of me doesn’t have anything else to say about it.

Because it’s been such a long while since I’ve updated, here’s a refresher:

  • I earned my BA in Public Relations and Mass Communication in May.
  • Grad school at Purdue Attempt #1 did not work out, and after already having committed to the Glee Club for this school year, I began the pursuit of a second undergraduate degree in professional writing.
  • I worked a hell of a lot over the summer at the grocery store.

That should do a pretty solid job catching you up to the beginning of the fall semester.

So there I was, beginning my sixth year of college (how silly does that sound?) and fourth with the Purdue Varsity Glee Club, and I had overall probably one of the absolute worst semesters I’ve ever had, for a number of different reasons.

Because I had already earned my degree and was really taking classes only to be eligible to be a member of the Glee Club, I started the year with a very negative attitude toward my schoolwork. I was in a bunch of prerequisite classes, classes I wasn’t overly interested in, so I was off to a bad start before I even really got started. That bad start was followed by a less-than-favorable middle, and concluded with a pretty crappy ending. I struggled academically to an extent that I hadn’t in quite some time, and I found myself in an academic standing no Glee Clubber wants to be: Academic Probation.

Oh, it’s just as embarrassing to write as it is to have to tell anyone verbally. I’m embarrassed for a number of reasons. For starters, as a student leader within the Glee Club, I was elected to a leadership position because of exemplary leadership, service and SCHOLARSHIP skills, and simply put, I did not do my job. I feel as if I let my Glee Club brothers down. Although part of me thinks it might be for the better so I really can reexamine aspects of my life and get it together, I’m in the process of possibly changing that status sooner than later.

Amidst my academic struggles, I had to deal with the loss of my grandfather. The week prior to Thanksgiving, in the height of hours and hours of Christmas Show rehearsals, my grandfather had a sudden heart attack and passed away the next day. I don’t think anyone is ever fully prepared for the loss of anyone, but it was definitely sudden and unexpected with Papa. Beating myself up about spending more time at home or thinking about forgetting to call him on his birthday like I’ve done every year prior to this year isn’t helpful, and I’ve gotten past that kind of stuff, but there’s no doubt I miss him like hell.

I’ll share a secret with you all: I still have the voicemail he left me on my birthday saved on my phone, and I have a feeling I’ll be keeping that one for a little while. I know we all miss Papa. Any of you that had the opportunity to meet him and spend time with him know the kind of person he was, and he’s definitely missed, but I know he’s watching over us.

Now, I know I’m a very fortunate individual, and I wouldn’t argue otherwise with the experiences and resources I’ve been privileged to. However, this past semester I had a lot that weighed on me and ultimately culminated with landing on academic probation and being unable to perform with the Glee Club for the time being. We all make mistakes in our lives, as cliche as that is. I have admittedly done things that I’m not proud of, and I want to apologize to those of you who I have maybe been untruthful to or seemingly distant from over the past few years of my life.

I’m doing my best to accept my mistakes, learn from them and do what’s best and what’s right; I never knew it was so difficult  to have to choose between the two. With that apology, I want to thank you all for being a part of my life and dealing with me being a jerk, a butthead, or just not myself, whether you knew I was or not. I have been blessed with the greatest set of friends and the best family a man could ask for, and there are definitely times I haven’t deserved to have you in my life…I’m just glad I do.

With the beginning of a new year, people make resolutions, things they want to do or not do in the upcoming year. I don’t know that I have just one resolution or specific resolutions. I do know that I am going to have a better attitude about life and I’m full of hope for this year. I intend to get things in my life together and keep them together. For starters, I want to do a better job of making good life decisions wherever I can. I want to find a way to balance “what’s right” and “what’s best,” and make those decisions accordingly.

I prayed for the first time the other night, like, legitimately got down on my knees before bed and prayed. I’ve always believed in God, but haven’t kept him as close to the forefront of my mind as I should, and I’m wanting to make Him a more focused part of my life. As I was talking to Him, I had the chills the whole time, and it was a pretty cool feeling. I don’t know how relevant that is…I just felt like sharing that. But I think with His help, 2011 will be a good year.

I wish you all a happy, healthy and successful 2011, an amazing Spring semester, and the best wishes!

Thanks for putting up with me…